Technical Delays (Sequel to Technical Difficulties)
by Little-Red-2404
Summary: After the permanent death of her twin, Ronnie Raymond, and the separation of Team Flash, Leah spends a little time trying to find herself once more and tries to find what she really wants. During her time trying to live a normal life, her dear friend, Professor Martin Stein becomes ill, causing her to call for help from someone she hasn't spoken to in six months. It changes it all.
1. Techna

**Introduction: Techna**

 **Leah's POV**

A Few Months Ago

I was slammed into the training mat for the seventh time that afternoon. Every part of my body ached and my head was just beginning to pound, whether from exhaustion or frustration, I couldn't tell. Sweat covered my body like another layer of skin and I shut my eyes for a split second, wishing I could sink into the floor and disappear.

"The longer you stay down, the easier you make it for me to kill you." His voice rang above me.

I opened my eyes to see him peering down over me, past the blur of white lights above his head. I could have used those lights to explode the lightbulb and caused glass to rain down above him and cut him, except this was physical training hour, which meant I wasn't allowed to use my powers during a fight. He knew that, too, probably reading the irritated expression on my face and smirking. He's a great friend, but sometimes I really want to smack that smile off his face so I can smile myself.

Oliver Queen held out his hand to me and I took it. He lifted me back onto my feet with one swift motion, as if we hadn't been swinging punches at each other for the past three hours.

"Oh, come on, you guys have been going at it forever." Another voice spoke up. I turned to see Ronnie, sitting low in a chair, arms crossed over his chest. "Shouldn't you two take a break? Maybe eat something? Drink water?"

"Calm down," Oliver sighed. "You'll get your turn soon enough."

Ronnie also sighed, sinking further into his chair. "Not what I meant, but alright."

Suddenly, a cell phone went off. It was a simple ringtone that echoed in the large room. Oliver was quick to jog over to his jacket that was perched on the railing of the stairs and dug into his pocket, pulling out a cell phone.

I giggled, shaking my head and crossing my arms around my chest. "Thought we weren't allowed to have our cell phones out during training?"

He rolled his eyes though there was a trace of smile on his lips. He turned his broad back to us before putting the phone up to his ear and mumbling a quick, "Hello?" When I first met this man, he wanted nothing to do with me knowing his identity and being friends: now, I think he's got a soft spot for me and Ronnie, considering we've been training with him and a few others for almost a several months now.

I turned on my heel to face Ronnie now while Oliver was preoccupied with his conversation. "How's Caitlin?" I asked him, taking a seat in the chair beside him, knowing full well he called her this morning like he calls her every morning.

His smile faded just a tad. "I'm not sure. Apparently they were having issues at STAR Labs and she didn't have much time to talk…"

"I hope they're okay."

As if on que, Oliver hung up the phone call and turned to us. "Well, looks like we're going to Central City."

Ronnie perked up immediately, practically jumping out of his chair. "I'll let Professor Stein know." And he was out of the room faster than Flash usually is.

It wasn't long before Ronnie landed next to Barry and I jumped off his back once more to stand in between them. That was usually how I traveled now: holding onto Ronnie as he flew through the air. Not the easiest thing, considering he is on fire and I have to be careful where to place my hands, but the rush of the wind through my hair while we're thousands of feet up in the air is something I'll never get over.

"Ah, you brought friends!" Wells cried out almost excitedly. The whole situation brought the awful chills down my spine. Wells is Reverse Flash? But why? Except now wasn't the time for questions.

Oliver jumped down from a near building then to stand on the other side of Barry.

"Welcome, Mr. Queen!" Wells grinned.

"Hope we're not too late," Oliver stated.

"You guys are right on time." Barry reassured us.

"Caitlin?" Ronnie spoke up, fidgeting a little in his spot.

Barry shook his head, "They're all safe inside."

"Good." Oliver stated before pulling out his bow.

I grabbed the bar from my belt and clicked the button on the side, causing the bo-staff to grow twice the size. The collapsible bo-staff is something Felicity added to my costume once Oliver started training me to use one, and it's probably one of my favorite things to fight with. I sometimes replace it with nunchucks, but I was in the mood to hit the Reverse Flash in the head with a stick today.

Ronnie got his fire ready and Barry crouched in a running position. Again, Wells just continued to smile, that awful smirk growing more and more on his face.

"This will be fun," he stated before holding his fist up, his ring glowing.

And then in a flash, he jumped into his suit and Barry and he ran at each other. It was a whirlwind of yellow and red as I tried to keep an eye on who was who.

"Move out of the way, Barry!" Arrow cried out, trying to aim his arrow at the right target.

It wasn't long before Barry was thrown into the STAR Labs sign, causing sparks to fly everywhere. Before the sign could cause a nearby car to catch fire and exploded, I swiped my hand in the air and watched the power to the sign go out. As Firestorm flew up into the air and threw down a fireball at Reverse, Reverse Flash used his speed to create a wind-rush that threw Ronnie a few miles back.

"Ronnie! Professor!" I cried, before Flash took off to go get him.

That's when the Oliver finally let his arrow sink into Wells' leg. He winced, pulling it out and turning to the two of us.

"It's a gift from Ray," I told him. "Nanites. They're giving off a high-frequency pulse that is disabling your speed."

"In other words," Arrow spoke up, crouching into a fighting position. "You won't be running for a while."

Wells let out some animalistic growl before charging at us. He swung as Oliver ducked and I didn't hesitate to swing the staff hard: it connected with his shoulder and he toppled over onto the ground. The victory was short lived as he kicked out, knocking me behind the knees and causing me to fall back, my head colliding hard against the gravel. I heard a grunt before Oliver fell beside me. I felt the anger rise in my veins as Wells stood above us, grinning down as if the fight was already won.

I used both of my legs to kick out and come into contact with his gut. He flew back with the force I delivered and crashed right into some wooden pallets that were lying on the side of the road.

"Nice kick." Oliver stated, helping me up.

"Thanks."

That was when the Reverse Flash began to vibrate again. Oliver was quick to pull another arrow out but not quick enough to sink it into his flesh. It took one second for Oliver to be thrown back onto his back and another for Reverse Flash to slam me into the pallets he was knocked onto, holding me by my neck. I watched my bo-staff slide off the wooden surface and far out of my reach. Slowly losing air, I grabbed on tightly to his wrist, doing my best to breathe and failing.

"You know… The books say you live to be eighty-two. Married and happy, a few awards won and all… Looks like the history books were wrong." He gave me that sadistic smile as his vibrating hand came down towards my chest to stop my heart.

Another flash of light and I was freed, gasping for air as I rubbed my sore, bruised neck.

"You can't defeat me, Flash." He growled, before they disappeared in whoosh of color.

" _The longer you stay down, the easier you make it for me to kill you,"_ Oliver had told me earlier that morning. So, I didn't waste any time getting back up on my feet.

I watched Ronnie fly over to where The Reverse Flash stood on the edge of the roof, and with a blinding light of flames, he had knocked Wells off the edge where he landed on a car, crushing the windows and spreading glass everywhere. But the man still got up, brushed off the glass, and stood tall. Until Oliver shot him with another nanite-device: then, he gasped as he pulled the arrow out of his side and tried his best not to slouch.

I took my eyes off the man in the yellow suit and focused on the car next to him. It wasn't long before I had the car roaring to life and it lurched forward, hitting Wells hard and knocking him to the ground once again. This time, he didn't get up.

"Thanks, guys." Flash sighed as he ran over to stand beside us. "And Techna."

I grinned, "No problem."

"Nice haircut." Barry told Oliver. "And I see we've abandoned the traditional green?"

"I stole it from him," I joked, referring to my green and gray suit.

"Yeah, looks great. I bet Cisco will be pleased that it's working for you."

"I need to get back right away," Oliver informed him. "But I may need your help sometime, Flash."

"Whenever, wherever." Barry told him.

They both nodded before Oliver took off. Ronnie patted my shoulder.

"Come on, I think it's time we go greet the others, yeah?"

I nodded, "I'll race you."

And even though our hearts were already racing and our bodies were exhausted from the previous fight, The Flash watched us both take off as fast we could toward the cortex.


	2. Before The Fall

**Leah's POV**

"You guys were awesome!' Cisco told us as Ronnie and I stepped into the cortex.

I giggled before throwing myself at him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he wrapped his around my waist and pulled me against him. I buried my face into his shoulder as I felt him nuzzle his nose against my neck. I breathed him in, missing his scent of sweetness- literally, sometimes he smells straight up like candy as if he rolled around in some jolly ranchers. And he was warm, just as I remembered. I fit perfectly in his arms and my body seemed to mold perfectly against his as he held me as close as possible.

"Hey now, watch where you put your hands on my sister," Ronnie lightly threatened before swooping Caitlin up into his arms.

I watched them giggle as he twirled her in the air with a huge grin on my face. He deserved to be happy, they both did. I buried my face into Cisco's neck this time, pressing a light kiss to his skin and grinning when he shivered at the feeling.

He chuckled before quietly telling me, "Hey, your brother has already threatened me to keep my hands off you, don't make it harder on me to follow orders."

I laughed into his shirt before kissing his cheek.

He gave me his cheeky grin, the one that reaches one ear and travels to the next, where he squints his eyes to show the laugh-lines all over his face and exposes all of his teeth. My heart fluttered at the sight of it. It gets me every time.

"I like that, though." He told me before kissing each cheek and then my forehead, and then my nose. He continued to do this, going faster and faster, peppering kisses all over my face. I laughed and tried to lean back, but his hands on my waist held me close.

"That suit looks great on you, by the way," he added as the kisses came to a stop.

"Why, thank you," I smiled before teasing, "My boyfriend made it for me."

"Your boyfriend seems awesome."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my forehead against his chest. I could feel his heartbeat under his shirt and I smiled. "He is."

"He's pretty lucky to have someone like you, too."

The whole cortex was filled with chatter and laughter. It felt like we had all won for once and we were all happy. I leaned in to kiss Cisco, but the rush of wind that sped by caused us both to jump and forget what we were doing. And the light atmosphere died as soon as Barry zoomed in. He took his mask off and faced all of us with a solemn expression.

"Barry, we won!" Caitlin informed him, trying to remind him that it was okay.

Barry used his speed to change out of his suit. He still looked unhappy and I had a good guess why. Especially since Ronnie and I had just got back, it was an odd, sinking feeling to know that Harrison Wells was the bad guy that had been terrorizing the city for so long.

"I want to speak with him." He deadpanned. The circles under his eyes were never as clear as they were in that moment.

"Barry, we just caught him." Joe pointed out, "I think we all deserve a break, especially you."

"I need answers."

"Tomorrow." Iris suggested. "For now, I think we all deserve some rest."

I took a deep breath and that's when I noticed the aches in my body; my back and ribs both hurting every time I breathed in. Any movement in my neck caused a throbbing sensation where Wells had curled his fingers around my skin.

Just as I thought about it, I felt a pair of cool fingers brush against where it hurt most. I winced and almost stepped back before I realized Cisco was just looking at it.

"Caitlin, perhaps you should check them for injuries first?" Cisco mumbled, still observing my neck. His eyes hardened and I could see him clench the muscle in his jaw, before he stated, "Looks like that's going to bruise."

I shook my head. "It's alright. That's the only thing that really hurts, and I can handle a bruise or two."

"Can you move your head for me? Like this?" Caitlin asked, rolling her head back and around in a circle. I copied her motions, fully able to do it but wincing during the whole thing. Caitlin shook her head, "Well, it isn't broken." She stepped a little closer. "However, it does look like its already bruising. You should put ice on it when you get…" She hesitated then and I knew what she was thinking. If I came back to live with her at her apartment for a few days, her and Ronnie won't get much alone time.

"I'll have her ice it back at my place," Cisco assured her, one of his arms still around my waist.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, so I leaned up and pressed another kiss to his soft cheek. The cheeky smile was back as he engulfed me in both of his arms, pulling me back to his chest once more.

"I missed that," he admitted.

"Me too," I told him before resting my head on his chest.

"Mmm, 'kay, lovebirds," Barry sighed, trying to sound annoyed, although the smile on his face betrayed him. "Let's all go home."

"Aww, we haven't had a movie night in forever!" I giggled as Cisco handed me a pint of ice cream and then made himself comfortable on the couch next to me. "Unless you consider the video-chat-movie-nights we had."

"Which I don't," he told me, taking a bite of his mint chocolate chip.

"Why not?" I squealed, trying to sound offended. I briefly held the tub of ice cream to my throbbing neck. I saw him flinch at the sight from the corner of my eye, so I was quick to distract him, "I loved our video dates."

He smiled then, his eyes so soft that if it was possible for a heart to melt, than mine would've. "You know…" He set his ice cream down, "I almost forgot something!" I watched as he quickly dashed into his bedroom. I waited with no idea what he was doing, but too indulged in my cookies and cream to go and see. It wasn't long before he came back, a red box in hand. "Um…" His cheeks were tinted a light shade of pink as he sat down and held the box out to me. "I know we couldn't get together at the time, but… I still wanted to get you something, so…"

I took the box and read the card on the outside, " _To My Love, Leah. Happy Six Months."_ I gasped and turned to face him again. "Cisco…"

"I-I know, I…I know we've been together for eight months now, but I made this for our six month anniversary, so I waited until you got here to give it to you."

As he was explaining the mysterious red box, I was busy opening it and tossing the tissue paper aside. Inside was a large silver book and as I set the box aside, I noticed how heavy it actually was. When I opened it, my eyes watered immediately and my heart fluttered. The gift was a scrapbook filled with pictures: pictures from before we were dating and while we were dating. I had never known we had so many pictures together.

I looked up at him with tears at the corners of my eyes. Noticing this, he began to panic, "I-is it not good enough?! I could get something else! I thought of buying you flowers and chocolate, and even a necklace- I really did- but then I saw all these pictures, and-."

Not knowing how else to get him to stop, I pressed my lips against his. He tensed up at first, probably confused, but I couldn't tell with my eyes closed. I smiled into the kiss as I felt him relax and run a hand through my hair, pulling me closer to him.

"I love it." I whispered to him once we pulled apart, nuzzling my nose against his.

He leaned his forehead against mine with another cheeky smile that I'll never get over. "I love you."

"Oh, yeah," I shrugged my shoulders as I placed the scrapbook on the table before curling up closer to his side, almost on his lap. "I guess I love that, too."

He laughed, the brilliant sound echoing in the otherwise silent living room. He pinched my side, "Hey!"

I quickly took his face in my hands and brought his lips back to mine. I had missed the way his lips molded against mine, the way his hands wrap around my hips and pull me up onto his lap, and the sound he makes in the back of his throat when I run my fingers through his hair. The heat radiating off his body and warming up mine was so familiar, my heart ached at how much it had missed it. I pulled him as close as I could, deepening the kiss as much as possible.

We spent the next few hours kissing and chatting, laughing and making up for the months when we were apart. When we curled up in bed to fall asleep, I forced myself to stay awake and watch as his body slowly melted into the mattress. His arm around my waist grew heavy, along with his snores. I ran my fingers through his soft hair and he leaned into my touch, his forehead falling forward to lean against mine and his breath lingering over my skin and keeping me warm.

I got a text from my brother that night about how he hoped Cisco and I got home safely.

That's the last text message I ever got from my brother.


	3. After The Fall

**6 Months After**

"What's your most recent, fond memory of your brother, Leah?"

She always asked me things with a kind, small voice but it never made the questions any easier. I also always felt nervous with all the eyes on me, but I knew that being here was the best thing I could do. However, I almost always had my hands folded on my lap, fiddling with my fingers and trying to recite what I was going to say before I said it.

"Um…" I sighed and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. My group counselor tells me it's a nervous habit, but I do it so absentmindedly that I don't even notice it. It's hard to notice that I'm doing that and NOT notice all the eyes on me as we sat in a tight little circle with a suffocating, tense atmosphere. "His wedding… He… He got married a couple of days before his death…"

I could never tell them that my twin was Firestorm. I can't explain how he exploded in the singularity. They don't know that I use to be a woman named Techna. I keep this all to myself, but I guess that's what makes it easier to talk about it. They think Ronnie passed away in a car accident and I guess that's okay with me.

The woman smiled, showing off her perfectly white teeth and for a second the lights flickered as I wondered how anyone could have such great appearance in such a depressing setting, though no one seemed to notice the lights except me. Oh, that's another thing, she has also diagnosed me with slight anger issues, but she says that's normal after losing a sibling and feeling helpless.

"That's a fond memory." She told me and everyone else in the group as silent as they were, they nodded their heads in agreement. "And what about your ex-boyfriend? What's your most recent, fond memory of him?"

That thought stung just as much as any reminder of Ronnie did. I could never tell the difference between the pain levels; losing them both hurt just as equally.

I also had to lie about this one, you see, because the last moment I had with Cisco (other than the break-up) was after we found out that Barry might go back in time to save his mother. It had frightened me to no end: if Barry saved his mother, what else would change? Would I have never met Cisco? Would we never fall in love? But Cisco had assured me that night that he would find me, no matter what. He had seen the future and he knew we were meant to be together.

I suppose futures change.

After Team Flash broke up, I told Cisco about how I was going to group counseling. And it upset him really badly. He yelled at me so much that night, asking why he wasn't enough to help me and how he couldn't understand why I was seeing a professional who didn't know me when I had someone like him. He was partly right. He was there for me during Ronnie's death; just like the first time, but this time, I wanted to prevent hurting someone with my powers. I knew I couldn't lose control again over grief, so I knew I had to speak to someone who didn't know me, didn't fully know my situation. I didn't want to explain this to him in fear that he wouldn't understand.

 _You won't hurt me, Leah._ That's what he would tell me, he'd try to convince me that I can control myself, these powers that seem to be controlled by emotions. I can do it.

 _But I hurt you last time… I hurt both of us…_ Either way- car accident or no car accident, I was still hurting. I was always hurting. I just got real good at hiding it.

He kept telling me that it would never happen again and couldn't understand where I was coming from when I pointed out that nobody was certain of that and I didn't want to find out the hard way.

So, Cisco walked out. And I let him, because I understood him. He has always felt second-best with everyone: friends and family. I couldn't prove to him that he was wrong this time, because I knew I needed group counseling. So, I let him go. I haven't seen him or Barry in six months.

"Leah?" The counselor spoke up, snapping me out of my trance. She smiled at me apologetically and for a second, I felt a little guilty for forgetting what her name was.

Since I couldn't tell her about Barry and the possible timeline change, I opted for the memory of when he gave me the scrapbook. It's in a box in my closet now, along with some of my brother's things. It's hard to look at now.

"And how did your brother pass away?"

I closed my eyes for a brief second, seeing the explosion behind my eyelids before taking a deep breath and opening my eyes once more. "A car accident," I lied like I've lied all these months.

"And your ex? Why did he leave?"

"Because he didn't understand that I needed to go to counseling."

"And how does that make you feel?"

I hate confession days.

After counseling, I stepped out of the building when my phone vibrated. I reached inside my purse to find a text message from Caitlin. Iris and Caitlin are really the only two I've spoken to since the team broke up.

 _Caitlin: hey, did you ever go to the Flash parade last week?_

The town was throwing a parade for The Flash. He deserved it. Even after the team had fallen apart, he still runs around town and saves people. I see him on the news all the time.

 _I texted back: No, I didn't. Did you?_

I actually have lunch with Stein and his wife almost every other day now. It's kind of become tradition, but it's nice to see them. They always welcome me to their home with hugs and delicious food. If it wasn't for Mrs. Stein, I'd never eat a proper meal. I'm awful at cooking so I basically live off of Chinese take-out and Mrs. Stein's cooking.

I made it to my car before Caitlin replied back.

 _Well, yeah. Actually I have to talk to you about something. Wanna meet up tonight?_

 _Sure. I have dinner with Professor and Mrs. Stein first._

 _How about around 10 tonight?_

 _Okay._

I admired her for moving on to Mercury Labs and keeping up with her research. As for me, I work with the same newspaper company as Iris. Nowadays, I take photos that Iris can use for the articles that she writes. I never imagined being a photographer before, but I slightly enjoy having the photos around my house. It makes it less lonely.

Unsure of what she had to tell me, I made my way to the Professor's house. It wasn't long before I reached Professor Stein's quaint, comfy home. The door was already wide open and as usual, Mrs. Stein stands there, waiting for me. I hurried out of the car and made my way over to her. The only time I genuinely smile is when she pulls me into a hug. I don't think she understands how much the simple action means to me. I don't think either of them realize how much dinner means to me, too. It's almost like having a family again.

After dinner, I made haste to wash the dishes for them. Hearing footsteps behind me wasn't surprising, because Mrs. Stein always walks up behind me, insisting that I shouldn't wash the dishes since I am the guest. But then we work on washing them in the soapy sink together and talk about random small things.

Except this time, it is the professor who walks up to stand beside me and pulls his sweater sleeves half way up his arms, before dipping his hands in and beginning to wash one of the porcelain plates with a green rag. And it's silent for a while. I can tell by the way he is focused on the plate and how he has spent the past ten minutes washing that one dishware that he wants to talk about something, but I don't rush it and I wait in the quiet atmosphere for him to speak.

When he does, he takes me by surprise. "How is counseling?"

This is a new topic for the two of us. Of course, I had told him and his wife that I am getting help so my powers don't get away from me, but we kind of left it at that.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Good." I hate lying, but that seems to be all I know how to do lately. Not that I want to, but the Stein's are pretty happy now and I don't want to ruin that for them, I don't want to be a burden.

"I stopped by his grave today." That statement caught me so off guard that I almost dropped the spatula in my hand, but luckily, it fell back into the sink. I reached out and held onto the counter for support. Sometimes the pain in my chest is so physically painful that it takes me by surprise and I have to stop to breathe. When I didn't react to what he said, he went on, "I miss him… I know he didn't particularly like me in his head and all, but-."

"He appreciated you." I told him, before turning my head to look at him. He had taken his glasses off and was wiping a smudge off of them with the hem of his sweater. "He didn't mind having you in his head as much as you think he did."

"You think so?" He asked quietly, placing the glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

I nodded.

"He loved you, you know."

I looked back at the wall in front of me, taking another deep breath. Counseling may suck, but the methods you learn from it never go away. _Breathe in, breathe out._

"Yeah, I know…"

"I think he'd be upset that you're not speaking to the others," he admitted.

I sighed, "Professor…"

He shrugged, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm just saying… I don't think he would want you to go about your life alone." He looked at me knowingly, "We can't live our lives alone. No one can."

I let loose a laugh that felt foreign to my ears. Perhaps I forgot what it sounds like to laugh. "I'm not alone! I have you. And your amazing wife. And I still speak to Caitlin and Iris…"

"What about the others? When was the last time you phoned Barry?"

"Hey, no." I shook my head and pointed my finger at him. "That one isn't my fault." I turned around and leaned back against the counter, "It's not my fault he wants to be left alone. And I'm not going to force him to talk to me."

"Okay, what about Mr. West? Oliver? Felicity? Cisco?"

I continued to shake my head, rubbing my temples with my fingers, trying to soothe the headache that was beginning to form. "Iris says Joe has been doing fine, but he is a busy man. And Oliver is a vigilante for crying out loud… He and Felicity are highly busy…"

Stein gave me a knowing look. "And?"

I glared in his direction, "Cisco is the one who left me. If he can't understand why I got professional help, then I'm not pining after him…. I really do need counseling… I don't want to hurt someone again because I can't control it…" I stared down at my hands.

"Yeah, I know…" He sighed, before setting the last dish out to dry. "Just thought I'd try."

I watched as he rolled his sleeves down once more and began to walk away. The atmosphere was tight and I didn't want him to leave in the middle of a fight. However, when I called his name and he turned to look at me, he staggered a bit and leaned against the wall before he fell over. Concerned, I reached out a hand to help him but he frantically shook his head.

And then I watched, horrified, as his eyes turned white and his hands and head lit up in an ominous blue flame. It was almost like Firestorm, but brighter and much scarier. I gasped as the flame blew out, his body went limp and he fell to the ground in front of me. I bent down and felt for a pulse: his heart was flying, pounding way too fast and hard for it to be normal. And his skin was so hot, it felt like he was on fire still. His forehead was covered in beads of sweat.

"Mrs. Stein!" I cried out in fear as I placed his head in my lap.

She came running in immediately and her eyes widen, matching mine completely. It wasn't long before she was sitting on the ground with me and calling out to Stein. He was so unresponsive, I wasn't sure he could hear us. And I was desperate.

I pulled out my phone and used the emergency app that Cisco had installed into everyone's phone a while ago. In less than five seconds, The Flash whooshed in to stand above us. His face mirrored my own.

"Barry!"


	4. Replacement

"How are you?" I heard a voice ask behind me.

I had seated myself in a chair next to the gurney that Barry placed Stein on. I hadn't left his side since he collapsed and that was about forty-eight hours ago. I had barely slept in this tiny cushioned office chair; the figure of the chair alone reminding me of the body of Eobard Thawne and how he sat in the same chair before he supposedly "lost feeling in his legs." It made me want to jump out of the chair, but I held my ground and constantly grabbed the professor's hand and asked him to move several times, in which he groaned, turned his head and then went unconscious again. His hand remained hot and his skin thick with sweat.

I turned to see the voice had belonged to Barry himself. He stood at the doorframe, leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked concerned; for me or for the professor, I didn't know. Either was acceptable, though.

"I'm not the one who might explode…" I pointed out, meaning for it to be a joke, but my voice decided it wasn't.

"He won't explode." Barry shook his head, walking over and pulling up a chair beside me. "Caitlin and Cisco are going to fix him."

"I wish I could help."

"Cisco is working on a quantum splicer in his lab. And you're an expert in technology- metahuman and all. I'm sure you could help with that."

I hesitated. My need to help the professor was huge, but at the thought of Cisco, I could feel my will-power falter immensely and a large knot formed in my throat and in my chest.

Barry quickly corrected himself when he saw the look on my face, "Or not. Being here with him is helpful too. I'm sure he'd love to see you when he comes to." He sounded so desperate to correct himself. It made me wonder how ridiculous my face had looked at the sound of Cisco's name.

I turned my attention back to Stein as his head turned once more, his eyes remained close and a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. The knot in my chest loosened and was replaced with the painful speeding up of my frantic heart.

"I can't lose him too." My voice came out thick and strangled.

"Hey," he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. As much as he was trying to help, the weight of his hand had felt like he just dropped the troubles of the world on my shoulder and my shoulder sagged slightly at the pressure. "I told you: he's going to be okay. Trust Caitlin and Cisco."

"I do."

"Good."

"I'm still scared though." I admitted.

"So am I."

"Is it wrong? I trust them, but I'm still scared…"

He shrugged, "No. Sounds pretty human to me."

I smiled just slightly before asking, "Human or metahuman?"

He chuckled at my comment, "Both."

"Do you ever get scared when you're out fighting crime?" I could hear the buzz of electricity in the lightbulbs above us.

"All the time," he looked me in the eyes and I could've sworn- just for a second- I saw a bolt flash through his eyes. "It's the one thing that makes sure I come back alive."

"Spoken like a true hero." We both jumped at the sound of the professor's voice. His eyes were narrowed and his smile explained how much he was suffering. However, the color of his eyes were bright and shining.

Barry grinned down at him, "I have to sound one if I'm going to play the part."

"You are one… Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. We got to figure out how to decrease your fever first. But we're getting closer to that answer every minute. You've got Caitlin and Cisco figuring it out now as we speak."

"You guys are great kids…" The professor mumbled before his eyes fluttered shut once more and he fell back under.

*Few Minutes Later*

"So, he needs to fuse with someone?" I asked after Caitlin had attempted to explain what she thinks is wrong with the professor.

"Yes. Though it is more complicated than it sounds. Not just anyone will do. Their blood and cells have to match that of Stein's. I've found two matches here in Central City so far." She pulled up the picture.

Before she continued, I was using my abilities to scroll through all of their information on the internet. "Henry Hewitt is a scientist…"

"Yes! And Mr. Jefferson is a-."

"Mechanic," I quickly finished before turning the computer off, my mind racing with the power of the electricity. It was a new feeling than what I had remembered. I hadn't used my powers in forever, but today, it felt as though I had the electricity flowing through my veins like blood.

I brushed it aside, assuming it was adrenaline.

"I vote for Mr. Hewitt." I causally said. "He's obviously qualified. Very smart.

"Well, who is this Jax Jefferson?" Barry asked, gesturing to the now blank computer screen.

"I mean… I'm sure being a mechanic takes a lot of skill, but Hewitt is a scientist like Professor Stein!" I pointed out. "He sounds perfect for him."

Caitlin nodded, speaking up once more. "I agree with Leah. With Mr. Hewitt being a scientist and all, it might be nice for the professor to have an intellectual equal."

Cisco shrugged, taking a seat in one of the chairs, "Make sense to me." He popped a twizzler into his mouth and I couldn't help but wonder where he got it from. I could've sworn his hands were empty not two seconds ago.

"How about this: Caitlin and Leah, you two can go meet with Henry Hewitt, Cisco and I will go visit Jax Jefferson."

"Who's going to watch over the professor?" I accidentally squealed.

"Actually, Cisco can go with Leah." Caitlin offered. "I'll stay with the professor… Cause I am the doctor… Only makes sense…."

I exchanged a look with her. A look that meant: w _hy must you do this to me?_

She only smiled back at all of us as if she was innocent.

"Okay," Cisco said with an air of causality as he got up out of his chair, twizzler in hand.

 _"_ _And why did your ex-boyfriend leave you?"_

 _"_ _Because he didn't understand my need for professional help."_

No. Because he doesn't understand me. Period.

He's never going to understand why the idea of fusing Professor Stein with someone else makes me want to cry. It feels wrong.

 _Let's go find someone to replace Ronnie!_

 _Okay!_

I felt my throat tighten as we climbed into one of the STAR Lab vans and we both sat there in silence. I didn't my best- taking a few deep breaths- to stop the tears from falling, blinking a few times as they stung my eyes.

And then he spoke up, his voice quiet and filled with a sadness I thought I was only feeling.

"Feels like we're replacing Ronnie…" He mumbled as he glared down at the steering wheel.

 _Oh, Cisco… What did that steering wheel ever do to you?_

And then the tears fell and I sobbed like a baby just born. I cried like it was the first time I've cried in weeks.

It was not.


	5. Little White Auto Shop, Little White Lie

**Chapter 4: Little White Lie, Little White Auto Shop**

Cisco pulled up into the parking lot of an auto shop before shutting the car off. I flipped open the mirror in front of me to wipe away any evidence of tears and to get rid of the mascara that had smeared along the trail of hot water. I glanced once more at my reflection, decided it didn't help at all, sighed in defeat and closed the mirror.

"You okay?" Cisco's small voice asked from beside me.

I looked over at him, giving him an unconvincing nod of the head. "Yeah." I ran my hands over my hair to pull-back the fly-aways before I asked, "How do I look?"

He looked taken aback for a second as if unsure on how he should reply to that question. I didn't realize why until an awkward pause of silence.

"N-nevermind, actually. Don't answer that." I felt my face flush immensely as I looked out the window at our destination. It looked like an oversized garage and less like an auto shop… But what did I know about cars?

He nodded his head. "Gotcha." I sighed once more before I heard him speak again, "Hey, Leah?"

"Yeah?"

"Chin up."

I looked over at him once more, surprised to see him giving me such a soft expression. "Pardon?"

"Chin up, head held high." He said.

"That just looks silly." I told him.

"Come on, chin up."

"You do it."

"This is supposed to help you!" I felt as though some pressure disappeared from inside my chest when he chuckled. It was a genuine kind of laugh, one that I hadn't heard in a while.

 _I missed that so much…._

My cheeks burned once more but I lifted my head up exaggeratedly to hide the color from him. "Like this?"

"Looks like you're going to break your neck."

"You suggested it!" I laughed, dropping my head into my hand to express how ridiculous we sounded.

We laughed for a bit until it got silent again.

"Ready?" He asked once the atmosphere had gone still around us.

"No." I answered honestly before taking a deep breath and opening the door, stepping out onto the parking lot.

I held my breath the whole time as we walked inside the auto shop. It smelled of gasoline and I could just barely hear the sound of some old eighty's song playing in the background, behind the sound of metal clanking and tools hard at work. However, none of the people there looked like Jackson Jefferson. I jumped slightly at the sound of a bell until I looked over to see Cisco messing with one that was atop a counter next to us.

When he noticed I was looking at him incredulously, he stopped. "What? It usually gets people's attention… It got yours, didn't it?"

I did my best not to smile again, but I failed. However, I added a little bit of an eye roll to let him know how ridiculous he was. It didn't keep him from smiling too.

"You like that? I bought it last week." A voice called out. We both looked over to see the face of the boy we had been searching for. He wasn't much taller than me with dark skin and large hands that he was wiping off on some rag he had fetched from his pocket. "I thought it went well with the shop."

"You're not wrong," Cisco agreed.

He went to open his mouth again, probably to discuss how the lab should have one too, when I interrupted him, "Jefferson Jackson?"

"Jax, just Jax." He said before tilting his head curiously. "Have we met before?"

"Uh, n-no. I'm Leah Ram—Raymond." I stuttered, holding out my hand. He was as hesitative as I was when we shook hands. "And this is my frie—uh, colleague, Cisco Ramon. We work— use to work together at S.T.A.R Labs."

"Nice to meet you," Cisco stated as they shook his hands. Due to how nervous I was, I didn't notice how the happy tone he had sported just moments before disappeared.

"Uh… Yeah. What can I do for you guys?" Jax asked, dropping Cisco's hand as his eyebrows raised further up his head.

"We heard you've been hit by the particle accelerator…" I started. However, I hadn't thought about what I was going to say and I closed my mouth as the words left me.

Thankfully, Cisco then spoke up. "We'd like to help you."

W _ait, what?_

Jax's face immediately fell. "Not interested." He stated before turning back to the car behind him.

Cisco leaned against the hood of the car. "I read your file. You really busted that knee after being hit by the explosion."

"Tore my ACL," Jax grumbled, "It happens."

"So, that's why you quit football…"

Jax stood up straight then, tossing the rag down on the car and crossing his arms over his chest. "What's your point, man?"

"We have ways to help you at STAR Labs." Cisco informed him.

"STAR Labs did this to me."

"And we want to make it up to you."  
This seemed to have silenced Jax as he shifted his weight onto his other foot, his eyes never leaving Cisco's. After several long minutes, when he didn't say anything, Cisco sighed and fetched inside his left pocket, pulling out a small square paper.

"Here. In case you change your mind… I hope you do."

He walked away, placing a hand on the small of my back to follow him out the shop.

"Since when does STAR Labs have business cards?" I asked him.

"Since now." Cisco chuckled as he held open my car door for him.

When he climbed into his seat, I waited for him to shut the door before I asked, "You think he's going to contact us?"

"Hell no. He blames us for ruining his life."

"Well… It was the particle accelerator that injured him and caused him to drop out of his full-ride to college, so… We kind of did…. Didn't we?"

Cisco didn't respond, his chocolate colored eyes stayed fixed on the shop in front of us and that's when I noticed that maybe I had said too much. I sighed quietly before settling back into my seat. It took him a bit longer, but eventually, he reached over and snapped his seatbelt in before turning the car on and driving out of the parking lot.

I watched the auto shop disappear in the side rearview mirror somewhat disappointed and somewhat relieved. I couldn't explain either feeling.


	6. Home Invasion

Chapter 5: Home Invasion

A week went by and to the Professor's delight, fusing with Jax was a success. They spent many days training their newly-found powers in one of our closed off rooms. I usually stood by to keep watch with a fire extinguisher in hand, but at the same time, I tried my best to stay out of the way.

Once, one of the lights went out in the cortex and Caitlin asked me to fix it, but I declined. And when Cisco's speakers went out on his laptop, I avoided him until he went and fixed it himself. But the worst one was when Barry asked me to go on a mission with him.

"It'll be like old times!" He had told me, but I shook my head.

This is not like old times.

I felt like a stranger in this familiar building. The buzzing of electricity that filtered through the lights and every piece of technology in every single room rang loud and clear in my ears. My hands tingled with an odd sensation like I had kept them frozen for too long and then I ran them under some really hot water. I couldn't walk the halls without taking an exaggerated, deep breath, trying to focus on anything but the flickering lights.

One day, when watching Martin and Jax fuse and aim at targets that Cisco had made for them, I found myself getting lost in my head. I cringed every time I watched Jax take a step forward- his foot was all wrong. If he leaned any further to the left or if someone swung at him, he'd surely fall over. His aim was off, too, but only by inches which made it even frustrating. I could tell Martin was lecturing him every time he stopped to grunt or mumble something incoherent under his breath.

Reminded me of Ronnie.

 _"Don't you ever shut up, old man?"_

His voice rang clear in my ears as if he was there. As if he was wearing the red and yellow that Cisco had made. As if he had been the one to complain that it was a little too tight around his chest. As if he was silently arguing with Martin, using that psychic connection of theirs. But every time my eyes focused in on the man shooting fire out of the center of his palms, I was overwhelmed with how disappointing it was to see someone else taking his place.

"Leah?" A voice snapped me out of my trance.

I looked away from the men who fought on the other side of the fire proof window to see Cisco standing there. I blinked a few times to find that my eyes were wet and my hands were gripping the table in front of me so tightly my knuckles had gone white. A second went by and I noticed that the lights above us were flickering as if in panic.

I sighed and the lights stopped completely, leaving us in a dimly lit room. "Sorry…"

"What's going on?" He asked, stepping forward to peer inside the room. "Are they alright?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they're okay." I told him, feeling my chest tighten with every word.

There was a silence afterwards and I could almost feel his hesitation as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. I turned back to Firestorm, pretending I didn't notice as he tried to form his words.

"Are we okay?"  
Taken by surprise, I turned my head to face him. "What?"

"I mean, because…" His face flushed immediately, and mine quickly followed suit.

I could feel myself panic and I tried my best to say something that came in a jumbled stutter, "O-oh, th-that, you mean… I see… W-well…"

"I just…" My mood deflated when he sighed. "We work together and… I don't want things to be…."

"Awkward." I finished for him, avoiding his eyes at all cost.

"Exactly."

"It won't be."

He sighed again, this time in relief and his shoulders moved with the action. He gave me a small smile to show that he felt better. "Oh, thank God–."

"Because we don't work together."

His smile fell off his face so quick that gravity wouldn't have been ready for it if it had weighed something as small as a pound. He blinked a few times as if he was surprised, although I couldn't imagine why. "Wait, what?"

"I'm not staying, Cisco…" I stated what I thought was the obvious.

"But…."

I shook my head. "It's not up for discussion. I have another job that I've already taken off too much time for to be here and make sure Stein is okay. And now he is. So, I must get back to my real job." I picked up my purse off the nearby office chair.

"But, Leah!"

"I've got to go!"

And I practically ran out of that room with my shoes clicking in the process because I knew, if I didn't leave fast enough, he might actually convince me to stay.

My apartment was dark when I made it back. I quickly turned the lights on without even touching the light switch and dropped my things at the front door, immediately kicking off my shoes and heading for the kitchen. I now owned my own stash of ice cream in nine different flavors, all used when I was feeling upset and didn't have counseling that day. As I opened the fridge, I realized I hadn't been to counseling in two weeks… I guess Team Flash had been distracting enough to keep my mind preoccupied.

 _That's right. Distraction. You need counseling._

"You also need friends." _His_ voice spoke up in the silence, making me jump.

I sighed, taking a tub of ice cream out and shutting the door forcibly and fetching a spoon out of the silverware drawer. "Oh, shut up."

"You know I'm right, Leah." He taunted, leaning forward on the counter, resting his elbows on the edge and his head on the palm of his hands. "Everyone needs friends."

"I have friends."

His blue eyes narrowed. "An old man and his "fusing buddy" doesn't count." I threw back my head and groaned in annoyance, it sounded almost inhuman. "Oh? Am I getting on your nerves now?" His smile was open, showing his bright white teeth, his pale skin almost matching in color.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I asked, not looking him in the eye as I struggled to pop the lid off the tub of ice cream.

"I don't know. Why can't I?"

I laughed, almost hysterically, feeling what little bit of sanity I have trying to leave. "I have no idea. But it pisses me off. You know why? Because while I'm over here STRUGGLING to open a damn box of ice cream to eat away my feeling about my EX boyfriend, YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY HERE TO HELP ME!"

The last part came out in an angered screech, sounding animalistic. I looked up to meet his blue eyes for the first time in six months just as all the kitchen lights exploded in one go. I didn't even jump as the sparks flew past my head and the light disappeared, leaving me in pitch darkness. I sighed, feeling sudden exhaustion taking over and filling my veins. Without moving from my spot next to the counter, I turned on the living room lights and it shone through the door to light up the kitchen as much as I could.

And a figure stood across the counter from me. But it was no longer Ronnie.

"Hello," his voice was sharp and I felt the stab of panic reach my heart.

I jumped back, confused and scared. "What…. You're Henry Hewitt…"

"Please," he gave me a smile that formed a lump in my throat, "Call me Doctor Hewitt."

"W-what…?"

"I'm pretty new at this bad guy thing, but…." He lifted his hands up and my eyes widen when some form of red energy built around the palm of his hands. "I need a hostage."

Whatever it was, he threw it at me and the color red hit me square in the chest, causing me to fly back and hit the kitchen counter. The air left my lungs as I hit the tiled and I tried my best to remember to move as I struggled to pull myself across the floor.

"Oh, don't make this harder than it needs to be. I just need to keep your Flash friend off my back, okay?"


	7. Techna Renewed

**Chapter 6: Techna Renewed**

I wake to the sound of ringing in my ears. The ground was hard and when I moved, my back cracked in protest. I rolled to my side to see three, blurry figures standing; one of them with his back to me, standing his ground against the other two.

"I've got your friend held as hostage," the man states almost proudly as he walks towards me in his fancy dress shoes. I grunt as his large hand comes down and grabs a fist full of my hair and uses that as leverage to pull me off the ground. "Heard you hang out with some of the "normal" people, Flash. You use them to help you fight us stronger, much more powerful metahumans… Silly. How you rely on them and not someone like me… I could've been Firestorm. I could have been amazing."

Although he continued to go on and on about how awesome he was, I ended up zoning him out, for only one thing stuck in my mind. _"Normal" people_ … And then I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lip. It just kind of happened as I felt a tickling sensation in the palm of my hands, the large, bright stadium lights that shone down on us seemed to be radiating off some heat I hadn't known before. But the more I laughed, the hotter it got. Was it also getting brighter?

"Wh… What are you laughing for?" Henry Hewitt pouted as he shook me roughly, trying to get me to stop.

I winced slightly, but not enough to stop the hysterical laugh that was leaving my lips. Because I should be scared. This new meta-human who was power hunger had me clutched tightly in his grip. But instead of scared, I felt this new, warm feeling building up in my veins. As if moving with the blood in me, it filled my whole body.

"You called me normal…" I continued to laugh as his eyebrows furrowed further in further in confusion.

Another voice then called out as Jax stepped forward. "Just let her go."

"Enough!" Henry shouted in my ear, seeming frustrated. He started to turn red again, the energy building up in the hand that wasn't fisting my hair tightly. He threw the ball of energy towards Jax and hit him straight in the chest. I watched as Jax flew backwards, landing on the football field painfully.

Barry flashed over to check on him as Jax sat up. Part of me was relieved that he was alright, yet the other part was harnessing this new warm feeling in a whole new way. My heart had skipped a beat when Jax hit his back and it took me a second to realize what Henry had done, but once I realized he had intentionally hurt Jax and the professor, the warmth changed immediately.

The kid may be new, but he was now one of us. And I had been watching him working hard and trying his best to cooperate with Professor Stein. I knew how hard it was to warm up to Stein at first, and I appreciated him trying. And he didn't know he was taking the role of my twin, he was just trying to be a good person. He wanted to do good in the world.

So, the warmth in my veins suddenly turned hot, uncomfortably hot. The ringing in my ears was very noticeable and loud now, and I was hyper aware of the stadium lights that burned down on my captor. Yet, my laughing wasn't stopping.

"You're an odd person…" Henry mumbled, trying to hold me tight with his grip on my hair. However, I had resulted in wiggling now, unable to escape from the heat that filled my veins. The tickling sensation in my hands was now very distracting and cramped. My wiggling increased as the giggles from my lips decreased.

"Stop moving! I'll hurt you!" He cried out, though his threat sounded weak.

I finally turned to face him, ignoring the painful way his hand tugged at my blonde hair. And I gave him one of the most mischievous grins I've ever managed. "You might not be used to hearing this, _Doctor_ Henry Hewitt. But you're wrong."

"About what?" He mumbled, seemingly disturbed by the smile on my face.

"You grabbed the wrong person," I told him, flexing my hands towards the heat of the light, which surprisingly eased the tension in my palms immediately. "I am anything but normal."

I gasped as the tingling sensation in my hands immediately grew along the blood in my arms. As if wires, suddenly my whole body was alive and the stadium lights flickered intensely.

"W-what are you doing?" Henry whimpered, letting go of my hair and stepped back away from me.

I held my palms out in front of me and watched the glittering, sparkling electricity that once coursed through the stadium lights, enter the center of my hands and lay there like a caterpillar nestling itself on a leaf. The light was blinding, being much closer to me now, and lit up the whole area around me. And I felt something new.

I felt power.

I held my hands out, palms facing him and watched as he shrunk back in fear. I breathed out a sigh of pleasure as the energy rested completely in my hands, and I smiled once more.

"I'm trying something new." I pointed out, before pushing my hands out towards him.

The electricity left me almost immediately, finding residence on Henry's abdomen. I watched as the chain of electricity wrapped around his waist and crackled against his uniform for several seconds. His head fell back, his eyes towards the sky as he shook in tremors, before the electricity disappeared and he stood there, arms held out in surprise and his feet spread shoulder apart. He glanced at me for a split second before his body shook one more time and his knees gave out underneath him. I felt the warmth leave my body as I watched him hit the ground.

And then I followed only second after.

Laying on the ground once more, I stared up at the starry night sky. With the stadium lights blown out, the moonlight was the only thing lighting up the field. I took an exaggerate deep breath, almost as if my lungs forgot how to accept oxygen, and focused on the cool way the chilly wind brushed against the skin of my arms. I had almost forgot how cold it was out tonight after feeling that heat course through my veins.

 _What was that?_ I wondered in a sudden panic after realizing what I had done.

That was VERY new.

"Leah?" Suddenly, the face of Jax was looking down at me, his eyes still white and his head still lit in dull flames, letting me know that Professor Stein was also peering down at my weary, exhausted face. "Are you alright?"

I hadn't known I was breathing heavily until I tried to talk. I opened my mouth, letting out a huff of air before saying, "Yeah, I'm okay…"

"That. Was. Awesome." He told me as his smile grew from ear to ear.

I smiled along because he was young, and there was something about his smile that reminded me of that. But in the back of my head, the stress of what had just happened and all the questions I had no answers for still lingered.

Of course, I noticed the way everyone's eyes followed me once we got back to the cortex. Caitlin immediately led me to a gurney and hooked me up to one too many machines to check my vitals and make sure I was okay. I continuously told her I felt fine, because I really did, but she continued on with her work anyways. While she worked on her computer, I sat on the edge of the gurney, starring down at my feet.

"So what was that?" A voice exclaimed excitedly and I didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

"No idea." I answered shortly, trying to keep my frenzied emotions to myself. I had already caused the lights to flickering several times since I had gotten back and what scared me more was how much my body craved to manipulate the electricity that kept the lightbulb lit.

"Leah, that was amazing!" He told me. "That was like a WHOLE NEW LEVEL of Techa! I didn't know you could do that!"  
"Neither did I."

"You completely knocked him on his a-."

"Does anything hurt?" Caitlin asked then, interrupting Cisco's excited interrogation.

I looked up to be met with her concerned expression and Cisco's amused expression soon changed to match hers. I sighed, "No. Nothing hurts."

She shook her head in disbelief, "Astonishing…"

"What?"

"Well, the professor and I were talking…"

Barry walked in then with an even bigger concerned look on his face. Once he stopped to stand at the end of the gurney and switch his gaze between the three of us, he continuously shifted his weight on each of his legs.

Cisco sighed before Barry could even open his mouth, "We never get a break, do we?"

Barry sighed right after him. "We have a visitor."

"But my security system…"

"Didn't work." Barry shook his head.

"Well, who is it?" Caitlin asked.

"Some stranger just casually walked in?" I added.

"Well…" I didn't miss the way he glanced at Cisco before returning his eyes to mine. "Well, she's not exactly a stranger…"

"Oh?"

He then turned to Cisco almost reluctantly, and his eyebrows were so furrowed, he looked like a lost puppy. "Um… She's asking for you, specifically."


	8. Cold Meetings

**Chapter 7: Cold Meetings**

"What are you doing here?" Cisco voice was hard, tinged with an edge of annoyance as we stepped back into the cortex, his eyes on the lady in the middle of the room. The team kept their distance as her eyes scanned each and every one of us. Her long, wavy hair moved with her as she eyed us, and I attempted to stand a bit taller when her eyes landed on me.

"Aw, Cisco, you know you don't mean that," she cooed before her eyes even left mine. When they did, her eyes swept him from head to toe and I crossed my arms over my chest to hide the fact that I was clenching my fist. "You're excited to see me."

"Who is this?" I asked, speaking up when I realized I couldn't stand hearing her sultry voice loom over him anymore.

She tilted her head as if pretending to be some sweet puppy; but puppies don't have devious intentions like she seems to have. I clenched my jaw to keep from squirming as she stepped forward, also looking me up and down. "This must be Leah."

"Leave her alone, Lisa." Cisco's voice remained cold. "Just tell us why you're here."

She exaggerated a sigh before turning back to him, yet still standing to close for comforting. I took a step to the side as she replied, "I need your help. And preferably your friend, The Flash, too."

I tried making eye contact with Cisco to see if he'd explain what was going on, but his narrowed, suspicious eyes stayed on her. "What do you of all people need the Flash for?"

Her flirty demeanor faltered as a frown formed on her face. "It's Leonard…"

"So, let me get this straight; she's the younger sister of Captain Cold, one of Barry's arch enemies, and you want to help her?" I asked, starring at both of the flushed, somewhat embarrassed Barry and Cisco.

Barry shrugged, "It's what we do."

I rolled my eyes and turned to Cisco, "And let me guess, you're doing it because you guys had some sort of thing in the past or something?"

"We didn't have a thing," he held his hand out to correct me. "She flirted with me and used me once, that's all."

"So you don't like her?" I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest once more and shifting my weight to my other leg as my right one fell asleep.

"No," he sighed. "Besides, I have a date with someone else tomorrow, anyways."

Even Barry turned to face him this time, seemingly distracted. "You do? With who?"

"That barista Barry and I met at Jitters last week…" Cisco mumbled, cautiously glancing my way.

I quickly looked away, taking a deep breath and pushing away that oh-so-familiar feeling that I knew all too well. "Oh. Okay." He opened his mouth to say something, but I quickly interrupted, wanting anything but to have this conversation at the moment. "So, we're helping Lisa? Alright. What do we do?"

Barry looked confused but also relieved that the awkward conversation was dissipating, "Probably make sure she isn't lying first. This could be some sort of trap or something." Then he nodded his head as if making a mental decision and added, "I'll go check up on him, where's his location?"

Cisco glanced down at his computer before giving him an address. Barry sped off at the speed of light then, leaving Cisco and I to stand there. Still avoiding eye contact with him, I turned to walk out of the room when his voice stopped me.

"Hey?"

I turned around, "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

I glanced over at the figure standing at the corner of the room. He's usually always there to stare me down when I'm about to lie, as if he's disappointed in me. And sometimes I wanna yell " _YOU'RE NOT EVEN HERE? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!"_ But I know it won't make him go away. So, I focus my attention on the little white lie I have prepared for Cisco instead.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

*Several Hours Later*

"I'm still not sure how you convinced me to come with you." I admitted to Barry as we stepped inside the old, abandoned warehouse as casually as we could.

"Easy; you're a good person and I might need your skills to help out with this mission."

"I don't use those s _kills_ anymore."

The corners of his mouth drooped slightly before saying, "Well, let's hope you're not too rusty, then…"

Barry had found Captain Cold earlier that morning, under the thumb of his dear old asshole of a father. And Barry was convinced that the only way to help out Leonard was to go undercover as one of the bad guys. So, here we were, searching to help out Leonard Snart and his father on their next diabolical plan. Why was I here? Because they need someone who can hack into a bank to steal millions of dollars-worth of diamonds. Who better to do that than the one person who can shut down the whole security system in one touch.

However, Leonard Snart didn't seem too pleased to see us.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed as Barry strolled in with almost no caution while I continuously glanced over my shoulder.

Barry shrugged his shoulder, "You need help."

"I didn't ask for it."

"Doesn't mean you don't need it."

I watched them stare each other down for several seconds and I kept my eyes on the gun in Leonard's hands. While I was gone to train with Oliver, apparently, Leonard and his sister stole the Cold Gun- a gun Cisco and I built while Barry was in a coma, for just-in-case situations. I hadn't even thought about what might happen if it fell in the wrong hands, so I shared most of the guilt Cisco felt when Leonard and Lisa used it against them.

I held my ground when he turned to me, his eyes sliding from my feet up to my head. "And you brought your girlfriend to help?" His smirk was hard not to see.

"Just a friend," I assured him with a firm voice, although I was sure my hands, hidden in my pockets, were shaking and burning with the lack of electricity running in the room; almost as if I was craving it.

"Uh-huh." He shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever. Doesn't matter to me. You two shouldn't even be here."

I rolled my eyes, "Think of it this way; we're not here for you, we're here for your sister. She asked us for help and now here we are."

I could've sworn I saw a small smile on his lips as he turned away from us. "If you really want to get involved with this, fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."

"We're trying to remove a bomb from Lisa's neck…" I heard Cisco explain over the com. "Keep them both preoccupied until then.

"His father is a dick." I whispered very lowly to Barry as we turned to the keypad. "Explains why Leonard is working with him, though. Work with him or his sister goes BOOM."

Barry nodded quickly, glancing over at Leonard and his father as they stand guard, making sure they didn't see me do my trick. "Just be quick."

"Don't rush me."

I reached out and placed my hands on the keypad, the only thing separating us from the vault of diamonds. Barry bounced his foot up and down repeatedly as I closed my eyes. Part of me wanted to shock Barry still right there to quiet his tapping, but instead, I focused on the technology. So many codes and wiring were trying to keep me blocked, but it was easy to fry all of them and I smiled when I heard the keypad beep, giving me access to reach through the wires and use them to open the door.

Leonard's father looked at the door, somewhat impressed. "Well. Seems like you're not useless after all." He gave me a chilling smile that sent the unfriendly chill down my spine and I had to force myself not to jump away from it. "We should keep her."

"We should?" Leonard asked, giving his father a bewildered look that matched what I was feeling inside.

His father nodded his bald head before adding, "Yeah, but not him."

It happened so quickly: he brought his gun up and aimed it forward. The shot rang through the hallway and the gasp that came out of me turned into a scream as Barry flinched and then fell flat on his stomach.

"You didn't have to do that." Leonard growled but his father shrugged it off before heading into the vault.

"Barry…" I whispered, feeling my throat close in shock.

"Sorry, Barry." Leonard frowned before looking up at me. "Onward. He'll be suspicious if we don't follow."

I wanted to yell. My friend has just been shot, he could be dying or already dead, and he wants me to move on like nothing happened.

 _Don't forget your mission._ Wait… I almost flinched at the unexpected voice. I had almost forgotten the time I spent with Oliver and all the hard training he put me through. But he also gave me great advice. _Finish your mission first, don't get distracted. It could make things worse._

I mentally nodded to myself. I could get him help afterwards, I just need to keep going. So, with a bitterness in my mouth, I followed Snart into the vault.

"Now, son," we faced a room full of lasers with nowhere else to go but through them. "Show me what you can do."

Leonard rolled his eyes, "Don't tell me what to do." But he still stepped forward, following orders and freezing the lasers with his cold gun. The breath I sucked in was shaky. I had never seen the cold gun be used until now, although it was partially my creation.

"Well? Now what?" Mr. Snart asked, a bit of annoyance in his voice.

Leonard didn't answer, instead, he walked through the frozen lasers and each one of them broke under his touch like fragile butterfly wings until he reached the vault and he turned to face us. The rest was sort of a blur. As much as Oliver warned me not to get distracted, I kept thinking about Barry's body lying on the ground, cold and lifeless. What kind of friend—person does it make me if I leave him there to help them fish out a diamond?

 _Cisco… Please, hurry with that bomb…_ I practically cried in my head.

I watched Mr. Snart pull the small fingernail-sized diamonds from the vault and place them in a teeny velvet bag as he grumbled, "Good thing you have that cold gun; otherwise, you'd be as useless as usual." I could see Leonard stiffen up beside me as we both remained silent. "Just like your sister."

He flinched and I didn't hesitate to grab his wrist and keep him from pointing his cold gun at his father.

"LEAH?" I jumped and covered my ear as Cisco screamed into the mic. "We got the bomb out!"

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and Barry was standing before us in his red suit.

Mr. Snart gave another awful, wicked grin, "The Flash." I managed to hold in the swell of relief that flowed through me at the sight of him NOT on the ground.

"Did you hear that?" Barry asked me, ignoring the old man.

I nodded before turning to face Leonard, "The bomb is out. Lisa is safe."

The old man's eyes went wide and it felt like slow motion as Leonard turned to him. This time I didn't realize he was lifting his gun until he sent an icicle through his father's chest.

"Lisa is safe, why did you do that?" Barry asked, although he didn't seem all that surprised like me.

"She'd never be safe while he is alive." He simply replied.


	9. A Red Christmas

**Chapter 8: A Red Christmas**

I was invited to Joe's Christmas party a few days after my undercover mission with Barry. I still hadn't fully made my decision to join the team and be Techna once more, but everyone insisted that I still join them for Christmas. I only agreed because I hated the idea of being alone during the holidays.

However, instead of taking a cab to Joe's house or even driving myself, I found myself walking out of the city and towards the suburbs where the West family lives. It was cold enough outside to see my breath lingering in the atmosphere in front of me, so I bundled as much as I could with my hands stuffed in my coat pockets as I walked along the icy sidewalk. I knew I was being followed immediately, but I made no attempt to run as long as the intruder made no attempt to attack.

After several minutes of just walking in silence and waiting, I sighed and turned around, "You know, you could've just said hi instead of following me around."

The corners of his mouth lifted slightly as he looked at the ground, fending embarrassment at being caught, I assumed. But then he shrugged his shoulders, removing his fur hoodie from his head to reveal his silver hair before responding, "I don't do greetings."

"I see that." I folded my arms across my chest as I watched Leonard Snart bury his hands in his pockets.

"You're not surprised to see me?" He asked as if he was genuinely curious.

I shrugged as well, "I heard you broke out of jail on the news. Figured I'd run into you eventually… Though, maybe not like this. What are you doing here?"

He pulled his right hand out of his pocket to reveal a small, wrapped gift he was holding, "Merry Christmas." He tossed the box forward and I captured it immediately.

It felt light and was no bigger than the palm of my hand. I looked up at him before pointing out, "I don't accept stolen gifts."

He smirked again, "Don't be too surprised, but it wasn't stolen."

I raised my eyebrow in suspicion, "Oh?"

I could've sworn I saw a new shade of pink on his cheeks before he looked down at his shoes, also crossing his arms over his chest. "Does it matter?"

"And how do I know it's not a bomb?"

"It's not."

I sighed, "Then why else are you giving me a gift?"

He paused for a second and I almost thought he wasn't going to respond before he quietly said, "For saving my sister."

I hesitated, not expecting this answer or to hear something so soft coming from Captain Cold. I rotated the box in my hands for a few times before asking, "Did you get Barry a gift?"

He rolled his eyes, although the smirk on his face remained before telling me, "Unfortunately, the Flash isn't pretty."

"And you're saying I am?"

"Do you want the gift or not?" He asked; the words he said hinted a tinge of annoyance, but his voice was still calm and smooth like a flat surface of ice.

I couldn't help but smile as I peered down at the small box in my hands. "I see why Barry wanted to help you now." Before he could open his mouth and ask, I responded with, "You really are a good guy, aren't you?"

He rolled his eyes and shifted his weight onto his other leg, but the smile on his face betrayed him, admitting that he appreciated my compliment. "Don't make me regret giving you a Christmas present. Open it. Tell me what you think."

I took off what little gold wrapping paper there was on the present and opened the box. Inside was a white, sparkly, very-expensive-looking bracelet. My mouth fell open slightly in surprise as I pulled it out of the box and held it up in front of me.

After a few seconds of my gawking, he shifted his weight again, looking a tad uncomfortable. "If you don't like it, I also kept the receipt in the box-."

"I love it." I told him before sliding the bracelet over my wrist where it fit perfectly. "It's really fancy and not what I'd normally wear, but… It's really beautiful."

He shrugged his shoulders, again, fighting off the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips. "It's just a thank you gift."

I shook my head. "I really didn't do much. Barry got us into the warehouse where you and your father were. And Cisco got rid of the bomb in Lisa's neck-."

"Yes, but you stopped me from killing my father too soon." He pointed out, looking right through me with his bright blue eyes. "If I had pulled the trigger the first time, Lisa would've exploded just as I killed him."

"I honestly just didn't want to see you kill someone."

He sighed, looking out at the area over my shoulder as if he had disappeared to that exact moment again. I wondered then if killing someone ever really leaves you, even if you didn't particularly like the person. "It had to be done."

I looked down at my bracelet, thinking the words carefully before saying, "I know. I would've done the same thing for Ronnie."

His eyes fell back on mine before he asked, "You have a brother?"

"HAD a brother." I corrected him.

His eyebrows furrowed once more, this time in what looked like sympathy. "What happened?"

I frowned and closed my eyes; remembering the flash of light and the utter horror as I watched Professor Stein fall to what looked like his doom. I remembered the relief when Barry caught him, and then the horror again as he brought him to safety but not Ronnie. And I hated myself. Because for just a second, I had hoped it was Ronnie and not Stein. And for just a second, I blamed Barry for not being able to close the singularity on his own. And for just a second, I wanted Ronnie there instead of the rest of them.

I bit my lip before telling him, "Believe it or not, he exploded. Almost like your sister did-."

Just then my alarm went off. I knew it was my phone alarm, even before I pulled it out of my pocket and looked down at the lit-up screen. My eyes widen when I saw it was Cisco's metahuman alert app and he had set it off inside Jitters.

I stuffed it in my pocket quickly, sputtering out, "I-I'm so so-."

"Don't apologize." He told me, holding his hand up to cut me off. "I get it. You've got superhero stuff to do."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not a superhero, Leonard."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Superhero, hero. Same thing."

"I have to go."  
"That's okay, so do I. I have to meet up with my partner, Mick."

"Who is Mick?" I asked, suddenly steered off topic as I was just about to run off.

"Don't worry about it." He told me before giving me a small wink and turning on his heel to walk in the other direction. I watched him for only a few more seconds before turning on my own heel and heading for Jitters.

Two seconds. Everything felt like it happened in two seconds.

I ran. I ran until the soles of my feet hurt and my lungs felt like someone had started a fire inside them. I didn't really want to go to Jitters, I knew why he was there and not at Joe's party, but the faint beeping of the metahuman alert app kept ringing in my ears, making my feet endure the long run to the team's favorite coffee shop.

Before I could even touch the door to push it open, the familiar rush of wind and streak of lightening brushed past me and swung the door wide open. After the initial shock of being surpassed by someone at the speed of light, I reopened the door and stepped inside. The lights were dim and I would've taken notice of the candlelit dinner and the fact that the beautiful Kendra was standing right next to Cisco if I hadn't watched Barry smash into the side of a dark-haired man and sent him flying. It was hard to find my burning feet again before I ran up to stand on the side of Cisco that wasn't already occupied.

"Leah?" Cisco breathed out as he turned to look at me, his hair slightly falling in front of his face. "How did you get here so quickly?"

I opened my mouth to reply; I wanted to tell him about how I ran into Lenny, how the bracelet around my wrist was a gift from a secretly-kind man who just wanted to protect his sister, but was silenced by the disturbing grunt Barry made before he was knocked off his feet.

Two seconds.

Two seconds to hear the sound of Barry's back hit the hard wood floor. Two seconds to realize the intruder had gotten up onto his feet and threw a really sharp object in our direction. Two seconds to make a very important decision.

My feet didn't hesitate to slide a little bit to the right and stand in front of Cisco.

I didn't see Barry jump up to his feet and knock the criminal aside. And I didn't have time to see him lunge our way because he's fast. Really fast.

But not fast enough to notice the dagger and reach out for it before it was too late.

His hand reached the hilt of the dagger just as the sickening sound of the blade piercing my abdomen filled the room with silence.

I think I meant to scream. I opened my mouth to get any form of expression out, but was shocked to find the air had left me completely. The oxygen I needed to squeal in surprise wasn't there and it left me gasping.

The fear came right after that. I watched Barry's blue eyes grow wide as if he was realizing the situation just as slowly as I was. My hand reached up to cover his as he held the blade steady, but my hand was shaking, which felt odd considering I couldn't feel it at all. I kept my eyes trained on Barry's as I felt something warm ooze through his fingers and cling to my hand. I saw his mouth move. I think he said my name, but I didn't hear anything.

And then the pain. The feeling of the blade lodged deep into my body added on to the fear and I clutched Barry's hand as tight as I could considering it was numb. However, when the burning fire ripped through my chest and escaped my mouth in some form of inhuman cry, the only other thing I could feel was my knees give out below me.

"LEAH!" That was the only thing I had been able to hear, although I'm sure the source of the desperate scream repeated it a few times.

But I was too focused on the black and red dots that formed around the edges of my vision as the room shifted and someone's hands caught me from behind the shoulders.

"Oh, God… She's bleeding _everywhere_ …."

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't realize he threw it—I could've caught it! I meant to!"

"Somebody call an ambulance!"

"You're _joking_ , right?! Barry! Speed her over to STAR Labs. NOW!"

I wanted to laugh at how uncontrollably hard it was to keep my eyelids open. They were so heavy as if I hadn't slept in decades, but that's a lie. All I ever do is sleep. The black and red dots were getting larger and closer to me as my eyelids tried closing and my head felt heavy like lead.

"Leah, keep your eyes open, you hear me?"

The black dots disappeared only for a second to be replaced by brighter, white lights. I couldn't lift my head enough to see where he had taken me, but the feeling of being flashed somewhere new had a sense of nausea rise up to my chest where it stuck. It was hot and heavy as if it was weighing down on my lungs. Then it was really, really hot and I was struggling to change positions, to get rid of the pain, but was constricted by Barry's arms.

"Leah, please, quit mo—Caitlin! HELP ME!"

He somehow managed to place me on the gurney against all my struggling. I didn't mean to move, I knew it'd give Caitlin a hard time to observe the blade sticking out of my upper abdomen and figure out what to do; but, my body was on fire and the pain was spreading to deeper parts of my body and I just wanted relief. I wanted it to stop.

I saw a swirl of red hair beside me and could hear words from two people that were blurring together and no longer making sense. The black and red dots were beginning to swarm the white lights above my head, making the room look darker and darker by the second. I was frightened up until I spotted the familiar figure in the corner of the room. He was always in the room when I didn't want him there. But right now, I really wanted him there.

I managed to find my fingers through all the pain and I reached out for him, but he continued to just watch me with my own blue eyes, making no move to step forward and comfort me. My eyes blurred again and my body convulsed. I heard a scream. I think it was mine.

I felt someone grab my hand and I turned my head, hoping to see Ronnie, but it was another pair of blue eyes. Barry leaned over me, worry sketched all over his face.

"Hang in there, Leah. Caitlin is going to fix you."

But the dots around my eyes were closing in and I could barely see the outline of his face anymore. It looked like someone was diming the lights. Or maybe it was me. Or perhaps, my own light was fading out. _Is this really it?_

I felt another jolt of pain, but now my body was too heavy to move. I couldn't feel the pair of hands that stuck needles in me and moved to ready the knife to pull out. I couldn't feel Barry's hands or hear his words or comfort anymore. I watched as the dots pulled themselves in to snuggle at the center of my eyes and make my vision go black.

And then I closed my eyes and couldn't find the strength in me to open them again.

" _LEAH."_

"LEAH, WAIT!"


	10. What is Home?

C **hapter 9: What is Home?**

 **Leah's POV**

"Leah."

I opened my eyes at the sound of my name. Inhaling an excessive amount of oxygen that I thought my lungs were going to have trouble handling, and finding it actually very easy to breathe. I peered up at the ceiling of STAR Labs to see the bright, white lights shining down on me as if to welcome me home. The atmosphere seemed different here, though.

As I looked around, I noticed the fog that lightly covered the tiled floor beneath me and the light that shined through the window across the room was white, not gold like the sun. And when I looked down at my abdomen, it was no longer threatened with the blade sticking out of it, and I wasn't in a hospital gown like I expected. I was no longer in my regular clothes either; I was dressed in a pure white t-shirt and dark jeans. I sat up and looked to my right and almost jumped at my reflection. My face was clean on makeup and my hair was no longer up in a bun, but down at my shoulders. I reached up and ran my fingers through it after I realized it was back to brown instead of blonde.

"I think you look better as a brunette." A voice knowingly stated, and I sighed in relief. I turned my head to see Ronnie sitting on the couch to my left. He grinned when our eyes met. "That's just my opinion, though."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice coming out a lot lighter and smoother than usual.

He shook his head, "Oh no, the question is: what are you doing here?"

I raised my eyebrows in question as I continued to look around. "I'm…" I stopped when I noticed the door that leads out of the room. It was a gold door and the windows were fogged up so we couldn't see what was on the other side. "I'm not in STAR Labs, am I?"

"Nope." He simply replied, shaking his head.

"Am I…?"

"No. Not yet."

I didn't bother asking what he meant by "not yet." I reached up and placed my hand over my stomach where the blade once was. "Where is it?" I asked.

"Not here. There's no pain here."

"And you're sure I'm not dead?" I asked once more, just to make sure.

He chuckled and I could've sworn I stopped breathing for a second. I had missed that sound so much. "I assure you that you're not dead."

"But… You are…."

"I know." He sighed, standing up and walking over to stand at the edge of the gurney. "But I'm here now."

I couldn't manage the tears that normally would've fell at these words. Instead, I climbed off the gurney and straight into his arms where I gave him a much-needed hug. He smelled like the laundry detergent our mother used to wash our clothes and he was the warmest thing I've felt in months. I sighed, not wanting it to end.

But I knew this wasn't normal. "What am I doing here, Ronnie?"

He let go of me and turned in a circle, looking around the room as if he just realized where we were. "I don't know. Why are you here? Go home."

"Home?" I paused, thinking about my lonely apartment. I didn't want to go back there.

"Have you forgotten where home is?" He asked before heading over to the gold door. "Want to remember?"

I wasn't a hundred percent sure what he was talking about, but I really wanted to find out. I urgently nodded my head as I walked over to stand beside him.

"What is it?" I asked him, looking over every inch of the gold door.

He shrugged, "Your memories. Come on." He opened the door and walked in, disappearing in pitch darkness.

"Ronnie?!" I jumped forward after him without thinking and squealed when the door shut behind me.

 **One.**

I feared I'd be in the middle of complete darkness, but as soon as the door closed, the whole room lit up with light. I was no longer in the medical room in STAR Labs, but now I stood in a familiar home, with hard wood floors and white walls. Many pictures hung on the walls and there was an odd trail of mud coming from the front door.

I followed the trail straight to my mother's kitchen where there were two youngsters sitting on the tile floor and playing with bowls and plates full of mud, grass, and leaves. I smiled as the boy and girl traded mud pies several times and pretended to taste each other's creation.

 _"_ _Ronald and Leah Raymond!"_ I flinched out of habit when I heard my mother cry out. _She stood at the other entry way, right across from me as she looked down at mine and Ronnie's child versions. "What are you two doing?!"_

 _"_ _Mom, we made you dinner!" the younger Leah explained happily, holding out the pie._ I couldn't have been older than three, maybe four years old with my two front teeth missing.

 _My mother sighed, dropping her shoulders in defeat as she stepped over to us. Little Ronnie's eyes went wide until our mother sat down to join us on the floor._

 _"_ _If I try this, promise to keep your dinner outside from now on?" She asked the two of us in a soft voice, her blue eyes shining with admiration, despite the mess we made._

 _"_ _Yep!" Little Leah giggled._

 _"_ _Promise." Little Ronnie nodded as he handed her his mud pie._

 _It wasn't long before my father entered to witness the mess. His hair was already turning gray; probably from the stress of having a family, working full time, and somehow managing to give both an equal amount of time._ Growing up, I admired him for it.

 _"_ _What in the world…?" He breathed out, mouth dropping open wide as he stared down at our muddy hands._

 _My mother shrugged, "Just this once."_

 **Two.**

I blinked and found myself standing in my very first apartment.

 _My father and Ronnie helped each other carry in heavy boxes while my mother and I decided where the furniture went. We laughed as the boys struggled to bring in the large couch my grandparents had given me as a house warming gift. And after all the unpacking was done, we sat and had some brownies and milk by the large window, overlooking the city._

 _Ronnie reminded me that if I ever needed any help, he lived just a block away. My mother gave me a kiss goodbye, and my father patted my head and ruffled my hair. He was never the physically affectionate kind, but I understood what he meant._

 _And not long after they left, my doorbell rang. I answered it to find a tall, brunette standing at my front door. He gave me a dazzling grin and a polite wave._

 _"_ _Hi, neighbor! I'm Drew."_

 _Drew and I started dating not long before the particle accelerator was made. I knew how Ronnie felt about him, but I didn't care. He had the love of his life and I was busy trying to figure out who mine was._

 **Three.**

I turned around and found the room had shifted to look slightly different. I loved to rearrange the rooms in my home, never really approving how anything looked after a few weeks.

 _This time, the couch was right by that big window where Caitlin and I were sitting and sipping tea._

 _She spent her time staring out the window for a while and I waited patiently, knowing she had something on her mind._

 _"_ _I have something to tell you." She started with a nervous inhale of breath._

 _"_ _You're pregnant?" I suggested, not giving her the chance to say anything._

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Why not? I want nieces and nephews."_

 _She laughed, "Because you forgot a step." Caitlin then held out her left hand and the diamond glittered in the sunlight shining through the window._

 _I couldn't hold back my grin as I stated, "We're going to be sisters!"_

I watched my younger self and Caitlin squeal, share a few hugs, and admire the ring on her left finger. I smiled and felt something ache in deep in my chest; although I slightly remembered Ronnie saying there was no pain for me here.

 _"_ _What about you and Drew?" Caitlin asked._

 _My face fell and I looked away from her._ Back then, I wouldn't admit that he didn't spend much time with me. He spent a lot of time with his friends, drinking at bars and watching sports games. The only time he ever came over was when he was drunk and wanted me for the night. Sadly, I always allowed it, too.

But I never told her that.

 **Four.**

I knew what the next memory was as soon as I saw my younger self, standing on the other side of the cortex in my pencil skirt and a blouse I had borrowed from Caitlin. I really wanted to look nice that day because Dr. Wells asked me to oversee the new guy.

Cisco was wearing his "Hans Shot First" t-shirt and a pair of khakis when he walked in. His hair was pulled back to try and look nice; I don't think I've ever told him I prefer his hair down, it looks nicer that way. At least, I think so.

And I watched the two of them react as my younger self greeted him with an awkward hand shake and an abnormally large smile, and then defended him from the snarky Hartley.

And the rest is history.

As if they were all blurred into one, I watched my days at Star Labs grow.

"Are you saying STAR Labs is my home?" I asked out loud.

"What do you think?" Ronnie asked, appearing next to me.

"I think you're not stating a place…" I admitted. "I think you're trying to say home isn't a place, it's a person." I watched images of me hugging Caitlin, laughing with Barry, cuddling Cisco, and I smiled. "These people are my home."

Working at STAR Labs; taking care of my speedy friend, being close to my favorite red-head, being held in Cisco's arms; all of it was a part of home. My home wasn't the wooden floors of my apartment, it wasn't the bare walls or the white windows. My home was the people I loved.

My home was the reason why I was still laying on the gurney back in STAR Labs.


	11. Back to You

**Chapter 10: Back to You**

The pain that throbbed just below my chest was the first thing I was able to reach out and grasp as I slow came back to my senses. The pain was much lighter than when the dagger first sunk into my flesh and with my eyes closed, the image flashed across my memory so quickly and unexpectedly that I flinched just slightly, seeing as my body was heavy and felt like lead. The next thing I noticed was the dull light shining behind my eyelids. I tried my hardest to open my eyes, but those also felt far too heavy and I felt my mouth slip into a small frown at the effort it took and how frustrating it felt not to be in control of my body. The last thing that came back was my hearing; the buzz of silence in the room other than the constant, rhythmic beeping of the machine on my right. I somehow found it in me to turn my head just slightly to rub the bottom of my ear against my shoulder to try and ease the itch I couldn't reach up and scratch.

Only seconds after my minimal movements, I heard a voice say my name to my left and I rolled my head over at the sound of it. It felt loud against my ringing ears and my eyebrows fell to match the frown on my lips. I heard more movement as the person seemed to shift a few times, and then I felt someone's fingers lightly take my limp hand.

"Leah, hey… Hi… Open your eyes for me, yeah..? Can you hear me? Open your eyes." As he continued to speak, my sluggish brain finally registered the voice that was speaking. I tried to say Barry's name to let him know I could hear him but as my lips parted and the thick oxygen filtered through my throat, it burned all the way down to my chest. My frown fell more at the painful sensation.

"Hey," I felt him rub the back of my knuckles soothingly. "Take your time, don't rush yourself, okay…?" I thought I heard his voice break slightly. Luckily, the way he was rubbing my hand was slowly bringing feeling back into my fingers and I managed to squeeze his hand back, though I was almost positive it didn't feel as tight to him as it did to me.

He didn't say anymore as I continued to roll my head from side to side very slowly, trying to find control in my heavy head. When I finally felt the relief of my muscles relaxing in my neck, I went back to focusing on my eyelids. The slight tingling in my veins was a short distraction as I felt the electricity in the building connect itself to my awakening body and I managed a small, deep breath before my eyes fluttered open.

Across from me was the small, dimly lit desk lamp that I had seen glowing behind my eyelids. It was very dim, but my eyes still blinked against the contrast of the darkness that I had just come back from. I rolled my head again to look up at the heart monitor that beeped and beeped, and beeped. I listened to the heart that thumped in my chest at the same motion and I took another deep breath, very relieved to be awake.

Finally, I turned my head, blinked a few more times, and watched as Barry's face came into focus. His brown hair was disheveled and sticking out in places that didn't even make sense. He was tilted forward in his cushioned chair, still holding onto my limp appendage. Once I had adjusted to my surroundings and I could finally see clearly, I watched my friend give me a soft smile; although his watery blue eyes were in large opposition to the gentle smile he was giving me. The rims around his eyes were red and slightly puffy.

It hurt to find the voice hidden deep in me and when it came out, it was hoarse and unfamiliar to my ears. But I somehow asked, "Why are you crying?"

His shoulders collapsed and he seemed to let go of a breath he was holding at the sound of my voice. I visibly saw him swallow and take a deep breath before he choked out, "It's nice to hear your voice again…"

I frowned, hating to see him so tortured over my well-being. "Barry… I'm okay. Really." He shook his head as he eyed my whole being, lying still in the gurney. I shook my head and tried my best at a joke, "This is nothing. I'm sure my hair looks better than it does when I wake up at home. I have s _erious_ bed-head."

I smiled when he chuckled at that, wiping at his eyes with his free hand. He shook his head and sighed, "How do you do it? You're lying here and telling jokes, and comforting ME even though you're the one in a hospital bed."

I pulled my shoulders up just barely in an attempt to shrug. "It's not the first time, remember? I caused my own car accident, last time."

He nodded, "Yeah. I remember… It's my fault this time, though… I should've caught-."

I cut him off before he could continue. "Did you throw the dagger, Barry?"

He sighed again, "No."

I smiled a tad before demanding, "Then shut up."

He smiled back, "Yes, ma'am."

We sat in silence for a minute or two as I tried stretching more parts of my body. I felt so detached that I felt like I was one with the blankets. It was like waking up from a really long nap with no idea where you are or how long it has been.

The idea struck my next question as I turned my head to Barry, "How long have I been out?"

He avoided my eyes as he mumbled, "Three months."

"Three months?" I hissed in surprise, not able to manage anything louder.

He nodded in answer. "You've missed a lot." That's when I noticed he had been whispering. His voice was just as quiet as mine, but I couldn't manage anything louder.

"Barry, why are we whispering?"

Barry nodded his head towards a spot over his shoulder. Behind him, I could see a lump covered in several blankets, curled up on the couch that sat under the window. Confused, I looked back at Barry with raised eyebrows.

Barry just shook his head in response, "Cisco hasn't slept in weeks. We can barely get him to leave this room, to be honest…"

I'd be lying if I said that my heart didn't swell and my body didn't feel warm at the knowledge that Cisco has been at my bedside this whole time. Although, it did strike more questions within me that I was quick to ask.

"What about Kendra?" My voice squeaked just slightly against the dryness.

"Uh…" His brows furrowed. "Kind of part of the many events you missed, but… Long story short, she found her soulmate and moved out of Central City."

I was confused by his word choice. Why the term "soulmate"? However, I didn't question it. I just shook my head and let out a teeny sigh that didn't complete agree with my chest, "Poor Cisco…"

Barry shrugged. "He didn't even seem phased by it. Like I said, he's been in here every chance he can get." He smiled teasingly before adding, "He's going to hate that you woke up while he was sleeping."

That got a small giggle out of me and I somehow lifted and dropped my shoulders again in a lame shrug. "I didn't know when I was waking up."

"Well, do you want me to go get Caitlin? I'm sure you're feeling a little uncomfortable, I bet she can help with any pains you're feeling. Besides… I think she might kill me if I don't inform her that you're awake."

I grinned at the sudden urge to see my sister-in-law, remembering the memories I had replayed of her in my head while I was gone. I nodded, "That'd be nice. Thanks, Bare."

He smiled down at me, his eyes slowly drying and his happiness looking genuine this time. When he stood up, he surprised me by leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to the top of my head. It made me feel small for just a second and I had a quick flash of Ronnie doing the same exact thing. Barry gently let go of my hand before heading out the door, and I watched the brother I never realized I had disappear behind the corner.

When he was gone, I turned my head back to the lump on the couch. Now that Barry had mentioned it was Cisco, I noticed the small patch of black hair that was sticking out from under the blanket. I watched for a second and took note of the way his figure slowly breathed in and out. The large, fuzzy blanket almost made it look like a large, hibernating bear and I smiled at the thought.

My eyes started feeling heavy again before I heard the pair of clicking heels get closer and closer. I had almost closed my eyes until I heard Barry re-enter the room with Caitlin right behind him. He nodded his head towards my way and when I turned to flash Caitlin a small smile, her eyes widened extremely.

"Careful, your eyes will fall out of their sockets." I teased.

I expected her to jump forward and begin checking my pulse or observing the machine to make sure all my vitals were okay. I've seen her watch over many patients since I've known her, and she's always been Dr. Caitlin Snow first.

However, my chest ached and not just because of my large wound. I've only see Caitlin cry once and that was right after Ronnie's funeral, right before I locked myself away from a whole month. But now, her tears spilled over her cheeks almost instantly and she stumbled forward to stand next to my bed. I opened my mouth to say something to comfort her, but nothing came out. I just watched as she plopped into the chair beside me and laid her head down next to my arm.

It took a lot of work just to lift my arm up and place my hand on her head. I rubbed at her red hair as much as I could with my stiff fingers, feeling my eyes sting with my own tears.

Barry went and sat in his seat on the other side of me and only shrugged his shoulders when I looked at him for help. So, we both patiently sat and waited until she lifted her head. She rubbed the tears off neatly with her fingers before taking a deep breath.

"I can't believe you're awake," she admitted with a strained voice. "I was worried you'd never wake up."

"I'm offended," I softly teased. "I'm not that easy to kill."

I was hoping to get a smile from her but both her and Barry's faces fell at my words. Before I could take back my comment, Caitlin informed me, "But you did die…"

"What?"

"Your heart stopped. Twice."

My heart skipped a beat at that information. I held back the wince, trying to ignore the pain and hide my emotions. Knowing I actually technically died- twice- sent a terrifying, spooky chill down my spine that I unfortunately couldn't shake off with my heavy, limp limbs.

The words spilled out of my mouth quickly, "I'm sorry"

Both of their eyebrows raised as Barry asked, "What are you apologizing for?"

"I didn't mean to worry you guys," I told them, my voice feeling weak and small once more.

They both shook their heads and I tried not to smile at how much they were copying each other's movements. "Leah, that wasn't your fault."

"Yeah," Caitlin agreed, "We're just thrilled that you're awake."

"Me too."

"Do you need anything?"

My stomach growled as if on cue, and both of their grins widened. "Belly Burger?" Caitlin suggested.

I sighed in approval at the thought of holding a burger in my hands. I felt like I hadn't eaten in years, not months. "Yes, please."

Caitlin did a little check on my vitals before leaving and Barry popped a kiss on the top of my head before following her out. I had noticed every single time he did that, and every time he did, it would remind me of Ronnie. This time wasn't any different; and part of me was hoping, yet dreading, seeing Ronnie standing in the corner of the room and watching me.

However, he wasn't there. My eyes searched and blinked several times, waiting for him to appear, but he never did. My chest ached, missing his invisible presence, but something in my head made me feel relieved, knowing that my brother's death no longer haunted me.

I held back the sobs in my throat to prevent any more pain and because I heard Cisco shift a little on the couch. I struggled to bring my sore, unused arms up to wipe a tear from my cheek when Cisco sat up almost as quickly as Barry can run. His chest was heaving as he sucked in a rather large breath and then slowly let it out.

I waited until he moved the ruffled hair out of his face before I quickly asked, "Was it a bad dream?"

He jumped again, this time turning to the sound of my voice in surprise. When his eyes landed on mine, I forced out a small smile through the pain. Again, my chest was aching, but it wasn't because I missed my brother mysteriously being in the room, it was because there was way too much distance in between Cisco and I. He blinked at me several times, and as though he heard my internal conflicts, he slowly stood up from the couch and walked over.

I attempted humor when he sat down at the edge of my bed, "You look like you've seen a ghost, dude."

His eyes remained wide as he scanned my whole body like I had done when I first woke up. When he seemed satisfied, probably as much as I was, to see no more blood or open wounds, he sucked in another large, but shaky breath. "We thought you were dead…" he choked out before his eyes began to water.

I felt his hand moving along the sheets and my fingers were eager to find his. Once his hand was intertwined with mine, I pulled it up to lay gently on my chest, causing him to lean closer. His deep, brown eyes searched my entire face, and although I wasn't sure what he was looking for, I remained still and kept my eyes locked on his. I waited and waited until his eyes finally stopped on mine, a tear or two slipping down his cheek.

He shook his head once more, his long hair swishing in between our two faces, before his strained voice stated, "You shouldn't have taken that dagger for me…"

It was my turn for my eyes to water at the sound of his voice, so quiet and yet so close. And so comforting. His face close enough for me to feel the warmth of his breath slide across my skin. So familiar. The way his thumb rubbed the back of my hand, so warm.

"I'd do it again." I informed him, suffering just a bit at how much will-power it took not to break down in tears right then and there. "I'd do it over and over again, a million times over. I'd take your spot on this hospital bed… As long as it means you're okay."

His lips were on mine instantly. His kiss was desperate and so warm, I almost forgot that I was in pain. The way his free hand cradled my face brought back so many memories; our first kiss and how it happened to be on the same hospital bed, the kiss in the car after Dante's birthday, the kiss before we saved Ronnie, our first night together on Christmas Eve, every night after that. The familiarity and comfort behind this one kiss was unbelievable.

When he pulled away, I clung tightly to his shirt, hoping he'd take the hint. Through my half-lidded eyes, I saw the corners of his mouth tilt upwards slightly before he laid his forehead against mine. He brought my hand up and kissed it while using his other hand to stroke my cheek.

"I love you." He told me in a hushed whisper. "I always have, Leah. It's always been you."

I frowned slightly before asking, "What about Kendra?"

He shook his head, moving my head with his just a little. "She was nice. I didn't mind teaching her new things either-." He leaned back to look me in the eyes as he incredulously asked, "Did you know she didn't know what The Princess Bride was?"

I held back my giggle at his reaction as I faked a gasp and said, "No!"

"Yeah! I had to inform the poor woman." He sighed before adding, "But she had a soulmate to get back to." He kissed the back of my hand once more before giving me the sweetest smile and telling me, "I did too."

I smiled, allowing a single tear to fall before speaking four words I hadn't said in such a long time. "I love you, too." I let a giggle loose as I added, "About time you came back. What took you so long?"

He grinned before looking down at our intertwined hands. He got serious suddenly as he stated, "I shouldn't have left in the first place."

This time, I shook my head. "It's okay. I understand why you did now… It was a lot to handle. You had just lost a friend, I lost my twin, for the second time. Things were falling apart around us. It was hard for us to handle…"

His brows furrowed as he frowned. "That's not a good enough excuse." He raised his head to look me in the eyes as he spoke, "In sickness and in health… I may not be married to you, but I want no one other than you, and that means sticking together through sickness and health, good times and bad."

"Cisco…"

"I'm not leaving ever again." He assured me. "No matter how hard it gets. Understand?"

I kissed the back of his hand as my heart swelled in size and warmth, before nodding my head. "I believe you."

"That is… If you'll take me back?"

He gave me a hopeful, puppy-dog look and a small wink. I giggled and face-palmed with my free hand before tilting my head and staring up at him in adoration. I'm not saying someone can come into a broken person's life and fix them, but this man surely can come into my life and make it a lot better.

"Of course."


End file.
